Confessions of a Truly Awful Gardener

OK, look.  I’ve got to ‘fess up.  Not that I have what anyone would actually call a “following” on this blog, or even that any one out of the 10 that are nice enough to say they are followers even know when I add a new post, but all the same, I feel like I have to come clean, so to speak.

I have a black thumb.

I have to admit it. 

Look at these pictures!  They prove it!

I am an herbalist with a black thumb.  Maybe I should re-name my blog “The Black Thumbed Herbalist” because that’s about the extent of it!  I’m really talking about inside gardening here, because outside, when the weather is good, I’m OK — the Calendula, Comfrey, etc. are gorgeous and make my heart downright sing to look at them.

But, again, to be totally honest?  Herbs are easy to grow.  Many herbs truly thrive in crappy soil and dry conditions!

Just look at this picture!  I should be ashamed to show you, but, as I said, I’ve decided to ‘fess up.

 These two pictures are Confession Pictures and I hope my lovely daughter-in-law who gave me the cutting for this once-lovely plant (on the evening before their wedding!), doesn’t look at what I’ve done to it!  It’s supposed to be BIG and … well … GREEN!!!  (As you can see, I allowed myself a little color for the sake of my daughter-in-law’s lovely plant; I picture it in my mind and it’s soooo nice.  She’s a GREAT inside gardener!).

OK, sometimes I forget to water my plants, but who doesn’t?  I remember most of the time.  And I certainly don’t forget enough to deserve ^^^ that.  Do I?

So I transplanted it today in new potting soil and I gave it room to drain underneath (I used those all-natural “popcorn” things that you get in packages; that was my 82-year-old FANTASTIC INSIDE GARDENER mother’s idea, not mine).  We’ll see what happens. 

 <<< There it is, getting re-potted.  One thing I am gifted with is the virtue of Hope.  Maybe there’s a chance it’ll revive with a little more attention. 

Next, remember those tulips that I was forcing in the glass containers with the nifty marbles to keep them upright?  They put up shoots and then began to die!!  What the heck!  They’re in a stupid window, they get all the sunlight they need, they have water, what else could they need???  So this afternoon I took them out of the water and planted them in potting soil and am putting them in a different window.  See how awful they look?  I wonder if there’s something in my water they don’t like…I’m going to water them with water from my daughter’s house from now on.  I wonder if our water is too hard.

I’m forcing myself to use a black font because I’m so mad at myself for having a black thumb.  I’m punishing myself. Unfortunately it comes out looking kind’ve grey on the site.  I wish it was darker, but I don’t know how to make that happen.

At first glance you might think this Poinsettia is fine.  But if you look carefully at it, you can see that it is half dead.  Really, it is!

If you care enough to enlarge the picture (and I don’t know why you would), you can see that I’ve managed to kill off more than 2/3 of the plant.  (And this one I’ve kept watered!) (It happens to be right next to the bathroom.  Where there’s a sink and easy-access to being watered…).  WHY the heck would only some of the plant die and some thrive?? 

And this one.  Remember that nice Gerber Daisy that was blooming?  Well, I truly did absolutely forget to water it.  How embarrassing.  It’s a gone-er for sure.  But I watered it anyway. 

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